Confession 13: Singles Can Build Nests if They Want To

Recently I found myself in a conversation with a married person who began telling me how difficult her life has been while living out of suitcases and boxes for the last several months. She said she just couldn't wait to settle down in one place and stop living out of the suitcase. She chalked it up to “nesting.” The next words out of her mouth were, “That sort of living is fine when you’re single or in college, but, I don’t know, I guess once you’re married it’s just not fun anymore.” I had so many responses forming in my mind, but I think I went with something extremely profound like, “hmm, really.” I felt it was the best thing I could say because I could feel my blood boiling and I knew I was getting angry. Instead I chose to memorize the conversation so that I could blog about it later! But, here’s an outline of what I wanted to say.

I. Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? You’re really going to tell me how hard it is to live out of a suitcase when I do it for up to 4 months at a time?

II. Did you really just compare singles to college students? Or were you just lumping us all in together? How old do you think I am? Because maybe there’s actually a compliment in there somewhere and I’m the kind of person who will take a compliment any where I can get one.

III. Are you saying that only married people desire a home? That having a home and creating a warm environment and taking pride in the way we decorate said home is something that only happens once you get married and that the rest of us prefer to live on used furniture? (Do you feel the heat and sense that my blood pressure is rising?)

See, point III is simply not true, and it makes me angry that people seem to wrongly assume that parts of that ultra long, run-on sentence are somehow valid. And, now you know why I bit my tongue super hard when it came my turn to comment.

This brings me to nesting. You oftentimes hear this word “nesting” in reference to pregnant women, but when I went to Google it I found that it really just refers to building or occupying a nest (well, if you’re a bird) or it can mean creating and settling into a warm and secure refuge. In other words it’s about creating a home. Granted, most Google searches do bring up lists of expecting mothers type results, but that’s what the term has morphed into and not what it was originally about.

I’m not a mom, nor am I expecting to be one, but I am still a woman who desires to make my home into a warm and secure refuge both for myself and for others. There is something so wonderful about home. Many years ago I found myself longing for a home of my own, and a house where I could actually spend my time. I’ve sort of been a nomad since high school graduation, and I wanted to settle into a place where I could unpack my suitcase from time to time. This was during the years that Matt Redman’s song, Better is One Day, was wildly popular. The song is based on Psalm 84. I remember praying to the Lord about this desire to have a home – I suppose I was nesting – and one night in a service where I was leading worship I began to sing this song and God spoke so clearly to me that I began singing the song in a different way. The chorus says, “Better is one day in Your house, better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house than thousands elsewhere.” And that word “elsewhere” began to mean any other home including my own. I began to sing with such conviction and such understanding that regardless of where I lived or how I lived (packed in a suitcase or unpacked) what I truly desired above all else was to serve God and be wherever He was. I truly meant it that night, and every day after, that I would rather serve God and be a doorkeeper in His house than have a home of my own.

A few years later God blessed me with a beautiful home. I’m still a nomad and I still live out of a suitcase most of the time, but I do have a place to call my own. It’s a warm and secure refuge, but not as safe and secure as the refuge I have found in God. Just last week my wonderful parents came and helped me do some things around the house. It’s so nice and now it’s even more warm and secure that I really have no desire to leave. Ever. But, as nice as it is, how much lovelier is the dwelling place of the Lord Almighty (Psalm 84:1). And that verse goes on to say, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you,    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” So I’ll travel on to new places and other homes.

We all desire a place of our own. A place we can call home. That feeling is not exclusive to those who are married. It’s a universal, human feeling. I’m glad that God has blessed me with a beautiful home, but I’m even more glad that He’s gone to prepare a home for me in Heaven. I’m glad I’ll spend eternity with Him in His house. I suppose in a weird way God used that aggravating conversation to remind me that I am nesting. I’m cleaning out things from my life and moving things around so that when it comes time for God to birth something new in my life I’ll be ready.

Bottom line – I’m not a bird, I’m not pregnant, I’m not even married, but I am nesting and longing for home – a home in heaven where I’ll dwell for eternity with my God and my Savior.