Confession 16: Being Sick is Awful

I live alone and I love it. It’s peaceful and quiet and everything is in its exact place at all times - because wherever I put it is where it stays until I move it again! I do things at my own pace and in my own way. I don’t need to ask anyone before I do something - I just do it! No second calendars/schedules/plans to check with. If I want to buy new furniture/bedding/clothing there’s no one to consult - I just buy it! I love the life I lead. 

But, there are two times and situations when I don’t like living alone. The first one is when I can’t open something. I had serious thoughts the other day of throwing a brand new jar of salsa onto the tile floor with some force and then eating around the glass. But, I am woman, and I tapped and twisted and got out towels and hit the edges and emerged victorious, albeit with very sore hands, 5 minutes after I commenced trying to open said jar. 

The second time is when I’m sick. There is, quite frankly, nothing worse than being sick and alone. It’s not the actual loneliness that makes it so awful it’s the fact that you begin to think you might actually die from lack of nutrition because the thought of getting into an upright position, walking anywhere further than from the bed to the toilet, and then having to smell food while cooking - well, to say the least, it just doesn’t appeal to you. So there’s no eating for days. 

Another horrible thing about being sick and alone is that there is no one to clean up “the sickness” except for you. I once got sick on myself and my car, and then had to drive myself home. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed once I arrived and have someone to take care of me, but first I had to clean the car, change my clothes, start the washing machine, etc. (I’m aware that this blog has taken a nose dive and has become truly disgusting, but there are multiple single people reading this and nodding their heads - you’ve been there!) Cleaning up while still sick is just wrong, yet necessary. 

You see, misery really does love company, and if for no other reason it’s because misery needs a cook, a cleaner, a water-getter, a dvd changer, and a blanket put over-er. 

With flu season upon us, and having dealt with more than my normal share of sickness this year, I have compiled a list of things to do in case of sickness while living alone. 

1. The first thing you should do is stock up now on cold/flu medicine. You’re not sick, you say? You never get sick? Oh, really. Well, the last thing you want to do this winter is wake up ill - so ill that the thought of putting on pants in order to drive to the store to buy medicine makes you even more nauseous - with the knowledge that you don’t have anything in the house to take that will make you feel better and you must, therefore, venture outside. You should avoid this scenario at all costs. Buy the cold and flu meds ahead of time. Trust me. 

2. At the first sign of sickness immediately go to the store and stock up on food that can be eaten directly from the package. Believe me when I say that even opening a can of soup to put into a pan and mix with milk and then stir over a hot stove until it boils is too exhausting when you’re truly sick. What you want are things like crackers, refrigerated soup that needs a microwave only, bread to make toast, cereal, etc. You might even make up a sandwich ahead of time and put it in the fridge! If there are more than 2 steps involved (step 1 being walk to the kitchen) then you don’t want it while sick. Take it from someone who knows - prepackaged/preprepared/ready to eat food is the way to go when sick.

3. Create a sick station in your house. Go ahead and pull out the blankets, the extra box of kleenex, get a trash can close, and a bottle of water at the ready. Maybe pull a favorite book, preload the DVD player, and keep the laptop handy. Fill up the coffee table with all the necessary items so that you don’t have to go looking for it all while dizzy from pain meds. Now you’re ready to be sick.

4. In the event that you begin to slowly feel sick rather than a wake up in the night kind of sickness or if you need to recover from a pending surgery/procedure think through your list of local friends. Have you upset any of them recently? Done a good deed that could possibly now be returned? You’re going to need some friends so make sure they aren’t all mad at you! Then begin working your way down the list. It’s important to sound as sick/frail/pathetic as possible on the phone when you explain that you’re alone and sick and haven’t eaten in 3 days and have no way to get to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription. I was sick a few months ago and couldn’t have made it without a friend dropping in to check on me twice a day. I speak from experience here - keep your friends close and on good terms.

5. If you begin to feel sick and live anywhere near your mom then forget the above list and just get in the car and try and make it home. You should probably be praying the whole time that you don’t have to pull over on the side of the road before you get there! There’s nothing like having your mom when sick. As a friend said to me - sometimes you just need your mom to take one look at you and declare, “poor baby, let me get you something to make you feel better.” And whether that’s medication, a glass of water with a straw (who else but a mom has straws on hand?), a blanket, or a homemade oatmeal cookie - mom’s just make us feel better.

Bottom line: Living alone rocks until you’re sick so be prepared. Hope you all stay healthy this season!